We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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