this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
