I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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