you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize