If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize