So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
