okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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