Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
