If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
