you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize