Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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