one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
