Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
