we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
