All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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