u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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