5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
