i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
