hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
