it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
