already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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