you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
