oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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