Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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