He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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