Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize