Fuck appropriateness.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
