I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
