i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She said her name was "party"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
