he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You're like the curious george of whores
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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