Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize