non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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