I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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