So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
