just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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