Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
