I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
