Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
FUCK WHALES
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
