Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Found your dick twin last night
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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