I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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