Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
