yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
