On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize