so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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