A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
