you guys were way drunker than both of me
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
