allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
