The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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