carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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