12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
