Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I use my feet as sexual weapons
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize