i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
