I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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