Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I will be naked everywhere
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
