She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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