and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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