i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize