when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
