i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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