I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
