What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
