whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
