Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
