Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
They are going to name an STD after you.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize