I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
